This is something I hear from women all the time, but even more so from those who are the breadwinners for their family, and for some reason seem even more determined to prove that they're effortlessly gliding along the surface.
Meanwhile… on the inside…
There's a whole lotta "oh sht, oh sht, oh sh*t", going on as they attempt to stay on top of every aspect of their life.
This is taking fake it 'till you make it to a whole other level.
Let's take my dear friend Kate. We spoke at 5pm one day as she finally admitted she was desperate for help. She'd just received a promotion after months of hard work and knew she should have been excited. After all, it's what she's wanted for years and this promotion would deliver a bigger remit and of course, more money to go with it.
However the moment she found out, she was overcome with fear that she wouldn't be good enough. Could she help a bigger team navigate through all this uncertainty? How would the politics play out in times of crisis?
Kate's hubby also worked full time, but Kate still shouldered the bulk of the financial responsibility and the even heavier mental load. The concern that more responsibility at work would break her was a real one.
But here's the thing... apart from me, Kate didn't know anyone else she could talk to about her situation. Who else could she talk to about available options for outsourcing pieces of her life? Who else was dealing with a regional role with so much responsibility? None of her other friends understood the burden of carrying so much.
Let me give you a piece of advice…. a friendly suggestion if you will.
It's time to stop being a duck!!!
Many women tell me they're just going to keep paddling, after all they've already been doing it for years on the smell of an oily rag and will just keep going. They'll just wait until they collapse, head off to a health retreat to overcome their burnout every few years and come back and do it all again.
Do you want to stop madly paddling underwater, living some version of your life that you think is expected of you? I always say stopping paddling is simple, but not easy. It's going to take grit, drive and courage to invest in yourself and put you first for a change.
It is possible to build more confidence so you can tackle the promotions coming your way with ease. You can get control of all aspects of your life so you don't feel like you're always one step behind. Wouldn't it be nice to feel a deep sense of achievement and to get rid of that pesky feeling that you're failing in every area of your life?
I thought so!